Thursday, January 29, 2015

Moving In Weird Circles

I got a drunk text last night from someone whose phone number is not recorded somewhere in the bowels of my space phone. It wasn't too hard to figure out who sent it.

Now, usually when someone gets a drunk text, it winds up falling into one two general groups:

Incoherent rambling or too-coherent over-sharing. For example, that one time you sent your boss a text reading "FFFUWJKFDS vodka is wargarbl." Or perhaps you sent him a drunken but sadly-far-too-intelligible demand for pictures of his man parts. Maybe you did that last night. You dirty bitch, you.

Anyway. It happens. The text messages in question may simply be photos. On one end of the spectrum, blurry pictures of a bottle of whatever gut-rot the sender was swilling down, or an even blurrier picture of someone's elbow. You get the idea. Or worse, they sent out really incriminating pictures of things that probably shouldn't be leaving their phone. Fleshy bits. Pasty photos of fleshy bits which spend most of their time hidden from the purifying rays of the sun. Or maybe the photo was somebody doing something illegal and/or dangerous. But hilarious at the time.

Then whoever blurted out the drunk text wakes up the next morning and has to do forensics on their message log to find out who they should apologize to. Or at least who they owe a rundown to of last night's shenanigans. This can either be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how hung over they are and who the recipient of their message was ("I'm sorry, Father Marcus!").

I don't get those.

Not because I don't have any friends, which is a legitimate concern given that I am nerdy as fuck, but more because I have strange friends.

I'd say about 50% of the people I know who are likely to text me are dog people. Not just "people who own and like dogs" but actual dog professionals. The sorts of people who put on suits and fly across the country to compete in dog-related events. Frisbee tournaments, dog shows, you name it. Some of them breed dogs, others have written the actual book on their dog breeds.

It's a strange crowd. The first thing people bring up when I mention this is "Best In Show" and that's not a bad reference point. It's a fairly accurate portrayal of the scene. Any character you care to name from the movie, I can give you at least three examples of people I know like that. Sometimes more.

I know all these people because my life has gone down the occasional strange path and it's such an insular crowd that once you know one or two, you know twenty or thirty along with them.

But I digress.

I know a hell of a lot of dog people.

So when I get a drunken picture of a dog at three in the morning from a number I don't immediately recognize, I know instantly who it is, because I am an idiot savant at remembering dogs.

Haven't had much of an opportunity to get writing done this week, which is a damn shame because it means I'm going to have to nail myself to the desk this weekend to get through the next chapter. It's always easier heading into the weekend with a bunch of writing done.

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