Well, so much for making the Friday deadline for Chuck Wendig's flash fiction thingy! This is good because I also didn't get below the 1000 word limit either. On top of that, this piece skirts the line between story and vignette dangerously close, occasionally stumbling over it drunkenly. I am full of fail this week.
In hindsight, I probably should have spun this up into a full story the moment I realized I wasn't going to make the deadline, because it's a fun idea.
The two genres I got from rolling on Chuck's table were "splatterpunk" and "noir", which reminded me of something I've always wondered about horror movies: what is it like to be the cop who shows up the next day in one of these films? The poor guy is confronted with all sorts of weirdness. How do you explain the wreckage after a Hellraiser movie or word a report on the inexplicable presence of were-sheep corpses all over the place? Hell, a person who lived in such a universe would probably be unfazed by a simple summer camp filled with dismembered coeds.
If I were to blow this up into a full story, I think the logical place to take it is the collision between duty and common sense. What happens if the investigator actually catches the killer? Anybody who's actually seen one of these movies knows what's going to happen--the killer can't be killed. Once it's on-screen all it does is kill and kill until the morally-appropriate characters survive. You can't jail something like that any more than you could handcuff a tornado.
Friday the 13th Part 3 was my choice for this story, in case you're not quite nerdy enough to recognize and/or google the references. It's a terrible movie and I've seen it far too many times, but I'd say it's iconic for the genre. It's the film where Jason acquires his hockey mask and it sets the bar for campy exploitation. It's the sort of ersatz slasher-horror which filled video rental shops during the 80's. Back in those days, we rated horror rentals by decapitations and boob shots.
It's also of note for another reason: one of my friend's cousins is in it.
She's the one who takes a shower and then gets it in the neck from Jason. She actually went on to do bigger and brighter things--she did some news reporting and was the reporter who broke the O J Simpson case. Her brother, Brad, was in a number of fairly cool movies back in the 80's. He was the non-famous kid in Red Dawn and played a vampire in Salem's Lot. I think he runs a production studio these days.
But the absolute best part of this is when Rob's in town. We all get together and when we're picking a movie to watch, we say:
"Hey, let's watch Rob's cousin get naked." To which he usually replies "Fuck you, guys, I'm going home."